Blood Blended Water
by Lycklig
Summary: "You idiot." She whispered as she pressed his head to her chest. "You fucking idiot." Rated M for language and somewhat bloody content.


Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of the characters mentioned in this story, they belong to Hajime Isayama.

Blood Blended Water

She had seen the look on his face when he thought that no one was watching him, his normal bored expression replaced with pure emptiness. The loss of his whole squad had completely changed the small man sitting alone at a table across the room, hunched over an untouched cup of now cold tea.

Suddenly he stood up and made his way towards the door. She watched him as he dragged his feet across the crowded room and disappeared. No one else seemed to take notice of the corporal's strange behavior, she thought to herself while carefully sipping at her own tea.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an enthusiastic Armin trying to show her some of his own researches from across the table. And of course she couldn't help but getting just as excited as him as they exchanged ideas and theses.

Soon the people around them started to retire to their bedrooms to get some sleep, which was a very good idea, considering the events of the coming days.

Armin excused himself as he stood up, gathered all of his papers and said goodnight. Hanji sat still in her chair as she watched him leave. She was now all alone in the room, except for a few people who had passed out a little here and there. Not everyone preferred tea on a Friday night. With a sigh she left her comfortable chair and headed for her room.

The thuds from her not very clean boots echoed against the stone floor as she strode through the corridors. She had decided to check on the corporal before she went to bed. She knew he was sad about what had happened and that it would take time for him to move on, but the fact that he hadn't talked to anyone at all since he had returned troubled her.

She stopped just outside his room, light was pouring through the glimpse under the door.

"Levi? Are you still up?" She spoke loud enough for the short man to hear through the door. She waited several moments for a response but there was none. "Levi? I'm coming in." He had probably fallen asleep on his desk she thought as she pushed the door open. To her surprise no Levi was to be found in the room. She shrugged and came to the conclusion that he had probably taken a walk outside to clear his mind. She giggled when she noticed a photograph on Levi's nightstand. In the picture was the short man himself, almost smiling, standing with his squad who all smiled happily as they posed for the camera. She remembered taking this picture a few days earlier, Petra had insisted on standing next to Levi, claiming that the shorter people should be in the middle. Levi had not agreed to this, but gave in when Petra almost had started to cry.

Hanji sighted and turned to blow out the candle, but then noticed light were coming from underneath the bathroom door. She walked over and gently knocked on the dark, wooden surface.

"Levi? Are you in there?" She got no reply this time either, but she could hear noises from the other side of the door. "Levi, are you taking a bath or something? Could you at least answer me?" She asked now slightly annoyed. She knew he was in there but apparently he didn't bother answering her.

"Fine, good night, Mr. Lance Corporal. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm leaving." Hanji spun at the spot and marched towards the door, she reached for the handle but a voice stopped her in her actions.

"Goodbye, Hanji…" The voice that came from beyond the bathroom door was broken and thick, as if the man was crying.

Hanji returned to the door and pressed her ear against it. She could now hear sulking and sniffling from inside. She hesitantly put her hand on the handle and pushed it down.

"No! Don't come in!" Levi's voice was panicked, but it was already too late. Hanji was now standing in the middle of his bathroom, face in shock. She was staring down at her friend, her best friend, sitting naked in a tub with blood blended water, holding a razorblade just above an unharmed wrist. Blood dripped from his other arm, it wasn't a clean cut, not at all. There were several small cuts, as if he had been trying to cause as much pain to himself as possible. None of them were very deep though. On the side of the tub stood a bottle of vodka and jar of painkillers, Hanji immediately understood what was going on.

"Hanji, please… please leave. I don't want you to remember me like this. I..." Levi didn't get to finish his sentence before Hanji rushed to his side, almost tripping over the pile of neatly folded clothes on the floor, and embraced him in the tightest hug he had ever gotten.

"You idiot." She whispered as she pressed his head to her chest. "You fucking idiot."

The corpral tried to push her away but only ended up knocking the pills and the alcohol to the floor.

"For fucks sake,let me go!" Levi shouted as he tried to escape the hug. Ice cold red water splashed over the edge and onto Hanji's white pants as Levi trashed around. The small man was much stronger than her, but she wouldn't let go.

"You have nothing to do with this! Just leave already!"

After a while Levi gave up and fell limp in Hanji's arms, tears streaming down his face and his pale cold body shaking violently.

"They're all dead, all of them are dead and I didn't even try to save them." He sobbed.

"It's okay." She murmured while softly rubbing his back. "It wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong. They knew exactly what they signed up for, and they knew very well that it could end like it did."

"But I fucking handpicked them for this!"

"If you had picked someone else maybe the result would have been different. But you can never know the outcome, you never know what's wrong or what's right until it's already done. Isn't that what you normally tell people?"

Levi fell silent, clutching onto Hanji's shirt. He rested his cheek on to Hanji's chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart.

"You're alive." He stated.

"I'm alive." She chuckled. "And so are you. And I'd very much like it to stay that way, if you don't mind."

Hanji waited patiently for Levi to answer, but just like earlier there was no reply. She was about to speak again but then she noticed the small figure she was holding had drifted off to sleep. He must've been exhausted she thought.

….

In the morning Levi found himself tucked in under the covers in his bed. He had been awoken by what he thought then was a titan roaring, but soon figured that wasn't the case. On his chair by his desk was a snoring Hanji. She was sleeping on top of a pile of papers, drool dripping from her chin and down onto one of his reports that he was supposed to hand in to Erwin. He noticed the bloodstains on her shirt and instantly remembered what had happened the night before.

"Oi, shitty glasses." He spoke as he got out of bed and wrapped himself in his blankets. He then walked over to his friend and put his mouth right to her ear. "Wake the fuck up you're ruining all of my work."

With a snort Hanji flung up from the desk, adjusted her glasses and wiped the drool from her chin.

"Ah, you're awake! I must've dozed off. I fixed your wrist by the way, oh and if…"

"Where are my clothes, shitty glasses?" Levi looked down on her from where he stood, butt naked, wrapped in nothing but a blanket.

Hanji tried so hard not to laugh, but she failed, badly. All Levi could do was to stare at her until she finished, which took quite some time he thought.

"I'm glad you're back, Levi" She said, grinning up at him. Levi just looked at her with his usual bored expression, waiting for her to tell him where his clothes were.

"Where. Are. My. Fucking. Clothes. Shitty. Glasses."

"They're right where you left them." Hanji replied smiling from ear to ear. With a sigh Levi nodded before turning around, heading for the bathroom. He then suddenly stopped to face Hanji.

"All… this stays between the two of us, right?" He said nervously, looking her in the eye from where he stood.

"Of course it does." She replied standing up from where she sat. "And if you ever need me again, you know where I am!"

Levi looked at her grinning face and couldn't help but to smile a little as well.

"Thanks Hanji, for everything." He mumbled as he watched Hanji walking up to him.

When she was right in front of him she whispered,

"Hey, Levi."

"What is it?"

"It's shitty glasses to you."

…...

I am so so so sorry for the mess above, I haven't been writing in a really long time. And I'm so so so so sorry about the shitty ending, it's 2:30am and I just wanna sleep.

Please review or comment or whatever, I'd be very happy.


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